In a recent comment, Brandon asked “MadWorld disappointing?  How is that even possible?” So I figured I’d take this time to explain how I managed to be disappointed. It wasn’t really as difficult as you might think. Since I’m primarily making a point here, this article will be more of a complaint about the game than it is an actual review.

When you first see the game pop out at you in black, white, and red, the style is indeed striking. But that’s about the only thing the game has going for it. After the thirtieth time of putting a tire around a guy’s waist, spearing him through the head with a street sign, running around to find a garbage can to jam over his head, and then picking him up and walking very slowly over to some spikes to impale him, it gets old. Actually, for me, it took less than thirty times to get old.

I’ll admit that the above is my chief complaint – the game is a brawler with just about no brawling. Either you’re picking up guys and walking slowly around to the various environmental hazards to score extra points, or else you’re using the chainsaw for max damage. It doesn’t have even the depth of combat that Double Dragon 2 had.

I also found that the game went from too easy to too hard far too quickly. Easy in the first couple levels is forgivable, since the player needs to learn the controls to play the game. But this one stayed easy for a while, right up to the point where a grim reaper on roller skates with an instant death attack appeared. This is how the game increases difficulty: instantly killing you.

Gameplay aside, I had a bit of issue with the violence. While I have no problems with blowing people into chunks in Fallout 3, tearing enemies in half in God of War, or slicing up countless foes with a beam katana in No More Heroes, something about the violence in Mad World bothered me. It didn’t offend me, it annoyed me. Why? Probably because while the other games used violence to tell the story, I felt like Mad World was a game created solely for the violence. The violence was its raison d’etre.

I’ve been thinking recently about the integration of minigames into so many of the games we play. Some are good, some are really good, and some are just plain bad. Compare for example the game of Yong in Dark Earth to the horrible conversation minigame in Oblivion. Yong was an Othello variant, and it was brilliant. I played that game much more often than was necessary to advance the plot, because it was fun. By contrast, the conversation minigame in Oblivion was there, but it was simply boring.

Minigames aren’t anything new. I remember minigames in Commodore 64 titles like The Legend of Blacksilver, which was the sequel to Legacy of the Ancients. Legend of Blacksilver was primarily a top-down RPG with pseudo-3D dungeons, but it had various little games which would increase your ability scores if you did well enough.

I should stop here to make it clear that I’m not a huge fan of minigames in general. This article may make it seem quite the opposite, but I’ve never been interested in Warioware or Wii Play, and I’ve never even played Raving Rabbids or Clubhouse Games. I simply enjoy the variety afforded by brief diversions from the main game like you’ll see with the air hockey minigame in Beyond Good and Evil or the pipe minigame in Bioshock.

A few years back, when I was playing Jade Empire and I hit a glider minigame that played like River Raid, I loved the idea that the game would have 2D diversions like this. This is precisely the type of gameplay of which I’d love to see more. The problem is that this is the only minigame in Jade Empire, although it repeats. I wanted more. I want minigames remniscient of old-school games. Two-dimensional games. Sidescrollers, top-down shooters, puzzle games. I want at least a half-dozen in one game, and I want them to have an actual effect on the main game.

Thinking about this, I can only come up with two games that have done this in a way that I really loved.

Firstly, Hillsfar. Hillsfar was a kind of sequel to Pool of Radiance and Curse of the Azure Bonds that I played on my Commodore 64. It had a horse-riding minigame for traveling between towns, a treasure-recovery game that played very much like Gauntlet, an arena minigame similar to Punch-Out! where you’d battle other warriors, an archery target-practice minigame, and probably the best lockpicking minigame I’ve ever seen, which involved pattern-matching in addition to the standard coordination challenge. And you could buy new lockpicks to better fit the locks.

Space Rangers 2 was another title that did a lot of minigames, and did them well. The best parts of the game were the text adventure segments, which didn’t all work like old infocom text adventures – they were all different. Some were more like the old lemonade stand game, where there’d be many turns in which you managed finances to try to reach a goal. Others were logic puzzles or interactive fiction. In addition to the text adventures, Space Rangers 2 had RTS and shoot-em-up minigames. Too bad that the main game wasn’t interesting enough to hold my attention.

While straightforward 2D minigames used to be mega-hits in the day of Centipede and Berserk, they were often coded by one guy. Today, when huge studios make multi-year projects out of developing games, adding a half-dozen of these should be relatively easy and inexpensive, and they can add some amazing variety to a game.

By way of example, I’ve thought up a theoretical game of the kind I’d like to see. Obviously, all the mini-games together shouldn’t comprise more than 15%-20% of total gameplay unless the player is choosing to play one over and over. I enjoy the variety of minigames, but if I wanted a minigame collection, I’d just buy one for the Wii.

Let’s say we have an adventure game that takes place in modern day. We could give it the standard computer-hacking puzzle minigame, some casino gambling with cards, and lockpicking minigame – many of these would be totally optional. I’d also like a frequently-encountered conversation minigame similar to the one in Indigo Prophecy. Throughout the conversation, you’re presented with 3-4 responses, and if you fail to choose one within the 5-6 second time limit, your character says something asinine which has a negative consequence of some kind.

We could also add a hand-to-hand combat minigame with mechanics similar to Karate Champ. Of course, no gi and likely no jumping spinning kicks, but something more appropriate to the character you’re playing. Of course, some people dislike or are simply bad at fighting games, so there’d be the option to run, which would lead to a foot chase minigame instead. This could be a sidescroller with running, jumping, climbing, et cetera. While we’re at it, how about a car chase minigame? This could be a top-down combination of Spyhunter and Pole Position, but with hard 90 degree corners thrown in. Sometimes, you’re chasing another car, other times you’re being chased.

For the set pieces where there are actually guns involved, a couple on-rails shooting sequences would work well. On-rails shooters usually aren’t my thing, but if they’re only a small component of the overall game, they could really add something.

Short stealth sequences similar to the original Metal Gear Solid would be another welcome variation. A isometric view of the character hiding around corners while infiltrating an office or warehouse could be a lot of fun.

Lastly, because they worked so well in Space Rangers 2, I’d love to throw in some brief text adventures. They can be as short as 5-10 minutes and still add some really interesting gameplay.

I don’t know why I feel compelled to vent my creativity this way, but hopefully it makes for some thought-provoking reading.

It’s not a problem that you often see in the Spring. Sure, when it’s November, we’re flooded with games. But the first quarter or two of the year are generally devoid of game releases. Right now, in addition to the games you can see I’m playing over in my gamercard at the left, I’ve got a number of games I’ve stopped playing that I want to go back to, a number of older games I’d really like to replay, a number of games that have already been released that I really want to get a copy of and play, and of course games that will be released soon that I plan to buy.

The soon-upcoming games that I’m eagerly awaiting include Street Fighter 4 for the PC, which I hope to be able to play with my SlikStik controller, Ghostbusters, Resident Evil: Darkside Chronicles, and of course Dragon Age: Origins. There are plenty of other upcoming games, such as Heavy Rain and Beyond Good and Evil 2, but those are still too far out to be on my radar.

The released games I’m dying to get my hands on include the new Punch-Out for the Wii, and Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, which I hope to be able to get for significantly less than $60 on EBay now. I’ll probably wait until I’m done with Resident Evil 5 before I pick up SW:tFU though. One PS3 game at a time is enough. Also the new Chronicles of Riddick game. House of the Dead: Overkill for the Wii also looks good. I only hope that it’s better than Mad World, which was a huge disappointment for me. Lastly, Henry Hatsworth and the Puzzling Adventure, which looks to be a Puzzle-Questy kind of game, but with platforming.

The games I’ve quit before completing that I intend to go back to include Okami, which I was loving, but which got tiresome because the game was soo long. Ditto that for Final Fantasy 12. Haven’t played that game in a couple weeks now. The big one that I’d love to finish but am totally stuck on is Eternal Darkness. Stupid boss monster. Also, Metal Gear Solid 3. I really enjoyed the second game, but had a lot of trouble getting into MGS3. I’d like to try again at some point. Ditto that for MGS1. And I might someday go back to Arcanum or the original Dungeon Siege. Lastly, Grim Fandango. I played a few hours into that game before getting stuck on a puzzle. I’ve since figured out what I was supposed to do, but haven’t reinstalled the game. I probably need to do that, as I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve never completed the game.

My replay list is always there, and always changing. I try to only replay one game at a time, and right now it’s Thief: Deadly Shadows, which I’ve played far less since getting into Far Cry 2. But I’d love to go back and replay Starcraft, Warcraft 3, and Shadow of the Colossus. I’d also like to replay Dead Space, which I only just recently finished. Guess I’ll wait a while for that one.

I’d love to hear comments from other people about games they love to replay or games they mean to get back to. Any good ones?

I just finished reading the Joystiq hand-on preview of Scribblenauts. This game sounds downright amazing. The premise is that you face different levels with different problems to solve – get this man a drink, get past this shark, escape from a zombie apololypse. You know, read-world problems. But in order to do this, you write a word and the object appears. The amazing thing about Scribblenauts is that it’s got an absolutely huge dictionary of words, so whether you write wheelbarrow, raincloud, or kraken, it will know what you mean, and the object will appear. 

In their hands-on, the joystiq guys summoned a coffee shop to quench the guys thirst, dropped a hair dryer in the water to electrocute the shark, and used a time machine to escape from the zombies. This game sounds simply brilliant. I can’t wait to play it.

Tetris turns 25 today. You may have seen, but Google has changed the logo on their main page to reflect the momentous occasion.

As I look over my list of games that were announced at E3 this year, I’m struck by the fact that every one of which I’ve taken note is a sequel. Probably the one I’m most excited about is Heavy Rain, which isn’t a true sequel to Fahrenheit, but it’s a spiritual successor created by the same people about very similar subject matter, and I expect that it will have fairly similar gameplay. I’m also very excited about the announcements of new Zelda and Mario Galaxy games, which I’ll buy as soon as they’re available. 

The Last Guardian is another sequel about which I’m very excited. Shadow of the Colossus was awesome, and although I’ve never played Ico, it seemed pretty damn good. And from what I’ve seen, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow may be the best game in the series since Symphony of the Night. And although I don’t have a PSP to play Echochroma, it looks like a great follow-up to Echochrome.

I’ll probably play Uncharted 2, God of War 3, Mass Effect 2, Bioshock 2, and Assassins’ Creed 2, but I’ll wait until they’re at least 6 months old so I can get them for cheap. Oh look – those are all sequels.

Thanks to Frank for this week’s Free Game Friday. Oregon Trail is a seriously old-school game. I actually played it at my old school in 1982 on an Apple 2e. It was an educational game, like Math Blaster and Where in the World is Carmen San Diego? Anyway, enjoy.

Play Oregon Trail

Keepers is a weekly segment in which I discuss games I’ve played that I’ve seen fit to keep after playing. I generally sell a game that I’ve finished, so the only reason I keep one is because I plan to replay the game some day. Classifying a game as a “keeper” is generally a badge of merit.

I never owned an XBox. Thus, I never had the pleasure of playing Jade Empire during its heyday. But when I heard of the enhanced remake being released for the PC, and heard Brandon raving about the game, I had to pick it up. I found the engine to be a bit dated, which is to be expected from a game that was originally released in 2005, but the gameplay was fun, the River Raid-like mini-game was fun, and the story was fantastic.

This is a game I kept after completing, and although there are a dozen games I’d like to replay first, I think of replaying this one often. If you’re planning on playing it, don’t let yourself be spoiled on the plot.

After having completed most of the content in Plants vs Zombies, I’m still playing the game. As a tribute, I thought I’d take this opportunity to detail my five most favoritest plants and my five most hated zombies.

Firstly, the pumpkin. It’s far more expensive than the wall-nut, and has primarily the same effect. However, the pumpkin is placed directly on top of one of your plants, and it protects that plant while blocking zombies’ path. It also lets you fit more stuff into less space.

Next, the sun shroom. I don’t even use regular sunflowers at night. It’s true that sun shrooms only produce tiny units of sun for the first few minutes, but it’s not too long before they produce just as well as a sunflower, and they cost a quarter of what a sunflower does.

The hypno shroom is one groovy plant. Usually when a zombie eats your plant, you just lose the plant. But the hypno shroom is there to be eaten. The mushroom sends the zombie on such a crazy trip that it turns and tries to eat the other zombies’ brains. Best used on bucket-head zombies and football zombies.

When you’re looking for sheer damage, the Gatling pea is hard to beat. Sure, it’s expensive, but it fires four peas at a time. I use this one quite a lot.

And then there’s my beloved squash. There weren’t many levels in the game in which I didn’t use the squash. It’s a one-use plant, but as inexpensive as it is, and for what it does, it’s certainly worth it. And while a chomper eats a zombie whole and can be re-used, it only eats one at a time, and costs about triple what a squash does. I loves me some squash.

As powerful as some of this plants are, there are some badass zombies out there.

The snorkel zombie swims in your pool underwater where you can’t touch him. I hate this guy. Fortunately, he’s got to surface to eat plants, and this really is his only weakness. Planting lily pads in his way forces him to surface to munch on a near-worthless plant.

The Balloon zombie is even worse, as he’ll just fly right over all your plants. I hate this guy. Cacti can shoot him down, but they have to be planted in the correct lane. Thankfully, balloon zombies they only appear in your backyard at nighttime.

Next, the dreaded zomboni. The zomboni drives along, plowing down your plants, leaving in its wake an ice trail unfit for planting anything. Stupid zomboni. To add insult to injury, the zomboni is often followed by the Jamaican zombie bobsled team.

I think that Pogo zombies have eaten my brains more times than any other zombie. How I loathe them. They hop along very quickly, and just jump over all your plants. Tall nuts can stop them, and those magnet plants can steal their pogo sticks, but how many times you you actually use either of those plants?

Finally, Gargantaur. Or as I call him, the Master Blaster zombie. Right out of Thunderdome. It’s bad enough that he stops along, nearly invulnerable, and smashes your plants flat with one hit. But even worse, he throws the little imp on his back over three rows of plants and it proceeds to eat your sunflowers or whatever you’ve got planted back there. Stupid jerk.

Anyone else got some favorite plants or most-hated zombies that I missed?

Okay, so the week isn’t even over yet, but they’ve announced some pretty cool things at E3. I’ve been browsing reports, and here are the items that jumped out at me.

• Project Natal