I recently looked back at some of the things I'd written 12 years ago on Twitter, and laughed out loud at a couple. There are a number which I remember that I can't locate, but I felt like posting some of these here, just for fun. Here's some stuff from a 2-month period back in 2008.
Why is everyone so obsessed with ducks in a row? Waterfowl can organize themselves however they like for all I care.
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) September 4, 2008
Just made the last payment on my daughter. We own her now.
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) September 8, 2008
When a zookeeper steps over the line, the others bind him and throw him into the giraffe pit.
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) September 10, 2008
Cheap bottle of amaretto: $12.50. Watching the woman behind the checkout counter stare at my "All your base" shirt in confusion: priceless.
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) September 14, 2008
Our cat is working hard to meet his trouble-causing quota.
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) September 14, 2008
If anyone omnipotent is following, (I assume omniscient folk follow Twitter subconsciously) I have a request: I can has fewer stupid people?
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) September 16, 2008
Every time I hear about our department's "Tips & Tricks" document, I think about how it sounds like the memoirs of a prostitute.
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) September 17, 2008
Someday, I will be a famous paralogician.
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) September 18, 2008
Not a big fan of passionfruit. I'd rather have a nice angerfruit.
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) September 19, 2008
Terrorists made the water in my shower cold this morning. Had to be terrorists.
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) September 24, 2008
If an event is raised in the woods and there's no event listener, does it make any noise?
— Greg Howley (@ghowley) October 2, 2008