I haven't gotten a lot of comments on this, so I'm debating whether to continue. But still, I've got a few more of these written, so I'll post what I've got. If we make it up to seven, I'll be happy.
So here's part three. Make sure to read parts one and two if you haven't already.
The Drunken Beholder was crowded, and there was hardly a NPC in sight. Nearly everyone was carrying a blade, a bow, or a mace, or else wearing robes. The discussion in the room was mainly over how anyone could ever get to second level while there were no goblins or kobolds around. And nearly every adventurer in town was in this bar, since few dared to leave town. Many had lost friends to Bartleby Blackspell's ogres.
Brazen Blusterfuss smiled and adjusted her new blood-spotted paisley toga top. "Lemme do my thing.", she said with a wink. "I'll get us a fighter or three." She strutted into the mostly-male room and was immediately set upon by PCs played by dozens of hormonal teen boys.
Ominous shrugged and took a seat at the back of the room, followed by Blacksash. They ordered a drink and waited.
Before long, Ominous and Blacksash noticed a small, heavily armored figure seated quietly in the corner, beside an oversized sword. "Hmm..." said Ominous, scrutinizing. "Shiny. Let's go see." The two adventurers made their way to the corner, and found there a small man, entirely enclosed in a very small suit of full plate armor, the helmet's visor lowered. He had to be a halfling, or perhaps a waifish dwarf. Blacksash glanced over his shoulder, to where the bulk of the bar's clientelle was still occupied with Blusterfuss.
"Hello.", said Ominous in his mysterious voice.
The armored man looked up into the shadows beneath Ominous's hood, then looked back down at his drink.
"May we join you?" asked Blacksash.
A single syllable came from the man, unintelligible due to the echo inside the helmet.
Perplexed, Blacksash said "If you lift your visor, we could understand you." The figure slowly shook his head.
Ominous and Blacksash exchanged a look, and Ominous offered, "Let's see what the bartender knows."
They approached the bar and called over the stereotypically pudgy bartender. Nodding towards the armored man, Ominous asked, "What's his story?"
"Who? Y'mean Pothole?"
"Pothole?"
"Yeah. S'not his real name, s'just what we call 'im. 'Ard to tell wot with t'echo from t'armor, but from wot I 'eard, 'E put his 16 on constitution 'stead of strength, figured 'e could lift weights. I see 'im lifting weights all the time, but I think 'is strength's still 9. Don't think 'e knew how the rules worked."
"So much for that.", sighed Blacksash.
"Could be a good meat shield, with a 16 CON and all that armor.", added Ominous.
"Meat shield? All right, but what about the sword? What's the minimum strength for a greatsword in 4th edition?"
"No idea." Ominous started walking towards Pothole. "But how much do you think we'll get done with any of those?" He gestured over his shoulder towards the other adventurers, who were all still ogling Blusterfuss, whose toga was sliding down her shoulder a bit more each time she moved her arm.
"Point taken."
The two reached Pothole, and Ominous spent the next half hour playing charades with him. By the time he'd hopped out of his seat and grabbed his sword, Blusterfuss's situation was beginning to grow ugly. The adventurers were grabbing at her, and she was beginning to look worried. She was a adventurer, but so was everyone else.
Blacksash started forward to help her, but Ominous blocked him with his arm. "I'm all for bar brawls, but there are a lot of min/maxxed characters here. There's a better way." He left the bar, and Pothole followed, dragging his huge sword behind him.
A moment later, there was a shout from just outside the door. "There's an owlbear in town!" Blusterfuss's molesters froze, then turned and sprinted out of the building, drawing their weapons.
A moment later, Ominous walked back into the now empty bar, shaking his head. "It's really kind of sad how easy that was."
Blusterfuss was re-tying old lady Witherby's window treatment around herself. "Eesh. Bein' manhandled ain't all it's cracked up to be. Too many man hands involved."
"Well, we ought to leave soon anyway. When they realize there's no owlbear, the other PCs won't be happy. Besides, Pothole seems to know something." Ominous was headed back outside now. "Maybe the new player has gotten some insight from the DM."
Blacksash huffed. "DM. Yeah, right. Maybe he got some advice from the flying spaghetti monster too."