Okay, so I finally saw Revenge of the Sith. Yes, it was better than Lucas's other more recent efforts, but it can't hold a candle to the original trilogy. So now that I've seen all six movies, I've got a few things to say. Here follows a list of what I see as the top twenty mistakes Lucas made when creating the prequel trilogy. Warning: many of the items are about episode 3, and so may be spoilers.
- 20. General Grevious
- Okay, overall I think General Grevious was a good idea, or at least had the potential to be a good idea. He was a man, but was almost entirely remade with a droid body. Seems like essentially he's just a brain in a box. His advantage over a normal droid is that he can (at least to a certain degree) use the Force. This gets weird. The only indication we have that he has any Force affinity is that he uses a lightsaber. No force pushes, jumps, or anything else. Plus, he coughs! I see no indication of a respitory system! I understand they wanted to portray him as a sickly man, hideously remade into a machine - a sort-of precursor to Vader, but come on! But what really bugged me was how poorly he fought given that he was using four light sabers. They could have done a much better job.
- 19. Padme's Invulnerability
- We first saw this when she fell from a speeder going 500mph in Episode 2. She rolled down a dune, appeared to be unconscious for a few seconds, and then when a clone trooper came over to check on her, she said she was okay, got up, and ran off. When I was first in the theater watching the movie, there was actually laughter at this part. The second time comes when she's eight months pregnant and she breaks into a full sprint, running faster than I probably could. I can buy this stuff when the Jedi do it, but not from Padme.
- 18. Where have all the battle droids gone?
- In all three prequels, battle droids are everywhere. I fully expected Lucas to come up with some technological means to easily defeat droids in battle, thus negating their usefulness by the end of episode 3. This would explain why there is not one battle droid in the original trilogy. But no. Plothole!
- 17. The Neimoidians' Accents
- I can understand wanting to create unique voices, but the atrocious faux-Japanese accents that the Neimoidians' used were just plain horrendous.
- 16. Battle Droid Speech
- The only need battle droids should have to speak is for when they address living beings. And there should be no need for rank amongst them. So when a commander droid tells another droid "Check it out", and the response is "Roger Roger", it makes me want to cry. What's with the slang?
- 15. Yoda's Speech
- In Episode 2, Yoda's speech bordered on normal. In Episode 3, it was so overdone as to sound contrived. One line I remember is "Now, the time is!" At times, I nearly expected him to shout "On, bring it!"
- 14. The Emperor's Acrobatics
- Perhaps I should have merged this with #4, but it's not nearly as bad. When Palpatine charges the Jedi, rather than run or jump forward, he dives through the air, spiraling crazily. There is no need for this, and it looks downright stupid. Personally, I'd have denied Palpatine a lightsaber entirely.
- 13. Gratuitous Foreshadowing
- Lucas should have tried to make new movies rather than using SO many elements from the original trilogy. Continuity is one thing, but we didn't need to see the Death Star plans. Boba Fett's family didn't need to be involved. Owen and Beru certainly didn't need to have a place in the movies. I know that Luke needed to go to them, but heck - just Owen alone would have been fine, perhaps introduced much later. And the droids were way too central to the overall plot. R2D2 saving the day in Episode 1 was painful to watch. The scene where Padme did up her hair like Leia was just plain dumb. And including Chewbacca in Episode 3 was an insult to Star Wars fans everywhere.
- 12. Convoluted Politics
- I understand the need to establish Palpatine as an insidious (ooh! Catch the play on words?!?) manipulative politician of the worst kind, but the plot reads like a plate of spaghetti, and holds together just about as well. As I see it, Palpatine first needed to be elected Supreme Chancelor. So he worked with the Trade Federation and imposed a blockade on his own planet of Naboo. He created a situation which forced Naboo's Queen Padme to vote the old Supreme Chancelor Valurian out of office, and ensured that he would be elected as a replacement. That was Episode 1. Episode 2 gets even stickier. To further increase his political powers, Palpatine needs to create a crisis, which he's been planning for some time. He encourages the separatists, who have a droid army, and sees to it that the Republic has a clone army. He uses Padme and Jar Jar to accomplish all this, but I've forgotten the details, as they're a bit too complex. Who was Master Sifo-Dyas again?
- 11. The Pod Race
- From the cheezy two-headed announcer, to the badass biker Sebulba, to the Jedis' decision to risk it all on a kid they just met, the Pod Race was a supreme waste of movie time. It showcased special effects, but was inane and failed to move the plot forward.
- 10. The New (old?) R2D2
- Whomever made the decision to allow R2D2 to spring out of his slot on a starship and land neatly on the ground, and to (aargh) fly should be shot. Probably Lucas. Any explanations as to why he couldn't do this in episodes 4-6 are lame. I hated the scene in Episode 3 where he beat up two battle droids.
- 9. Bad Droid Antics
- This refers mostly to Episode 2. Once Lucas figured out that Jar Jar was no good as comic relief, he tried to use R2D2 and C3PO. But he did it wrong. Damn wrong. The worst part is the assembly line scene that has R2D2 push C3PO off the ledge and fly (fly!) after him. This culminates with C3PO's head being welded to a battle droid body and C3PO muttering "I'm so confused!". What happened to clever humor like "they're behind you!" when C3PO is strapped to Chewy's back? (sigh)
- 8. Coincidental Luck
- This is a huge gripe of mine, and a large part of what made Episode 1 suck for me. Little Anakin hides in a ship while the adults go off to fight, and while helping by blasting some destroyer droids, he accidentally activates the autopilot, which was for some reason set to fly to the droid control station in orbit. While up there, ("Let's try rolling, that's a good trick!") he accidentally flies into a hanger and accidentally destroys the station. Stupid. I suppose the explanation is that he's the chosen one and that somehow fate or The Force is intervening and causing all this. Stupid. That's not how The Force works. And it's made worse when we see Jar Jar win the land battle the same way. He ducks and hides and a blaster tangles around his foot, killing all nearby enemies. Then he unhooks some big cart, unleashing a bunch of electro grenade globe thingies, which destroy a bunch of droid tanks. Stupid. And it invalidates the notion that The Force was involved in Anakin's victory.
- 7. The Death of Darth Maul
- Darth Maul, while not as complex as Darth Vader or as ominous as Darth Sidious, is the most intimidating villian in the Star Wars franchise. He's not about plotting, he's not about conquest. He's about kicking your ass. And he's very good. The final lightsaber battle in Episode 1 was the best in the entire Star Wars franchise, due largely to Ray Park. Those weren't CG flips - what he did was real, and that's why it looked so good. But when he stood still and watched while Obi Wan flipped up and over him, landed, and then cut him in two, it just wasn't believable. Worst bad-guy death ever. The same problem reappears in Episode 3 when Sidious kills the first few Jedi - they just stand still while he kills them. They've got lightsabers out, but don't move to defend themselves.
- 6. Midi-Chlorians
- The Force used to be an ancient religion. Now, it's in your blood. Stupid.
- 5. Anakin Constructing C3PO
- Deciding that it was Vader who actually constructed C3PO was a horrible move. He's now not just some droid who happens to be where all the action is, he's now the creation of the Dark Lord of the Sith. Dumb.
- 4. Yoda's Acrobatics
- A lot of people loved this, but I thought it ruined the character of Yoda. Yoda is a wise seer and mentor who dispenses council and instructs young jedi. As soon as he pulled out a lightsaber, it ruined the character for me. He should never have been a physical character. He's more of a general, and generals shouldn't be on the front lines. His acrobatic fighting looked fake and unrealistic. If it was necessary to have him fight, he should have used a style that more closely resembled something you'd see an 80-year-old martial arts master using, emphasizing skill over speed and maneuverability. Same holds true for Sidious.
- 3. Padme & Anakin's Love Story
- I've heard some people complain about the actors, and some claim that it was poor direction on Lucas's part. I'm sure the writing also hurt things. In any event, the love scenes were terrible. Zero chemistry.
- 2. Episode 1 for First-Graders
- Phantom Menace looks like it was written as a kids movie. The focus on Anakin, who should not yet have been a pivotal character, really hurt things.
- 1. Jar Jar
- Need I say more?
That said, what was good about the new trilogy? Well, it's a shorter list.
- 5. Episode 3's use of Droids
- I saw some very cool things in episode 3 that may have eluded some people. There were unmanned space fighters, amongst other things. And I loved the droids that landed on Obi-Wan's Fighter and began systematically destroying key systems.
- 4. The Death of Jango Fett
- Mace Windu unceremoniously marched up and beheaded him. No nonsense, no drawn-out fight. Very nice.
- 3. Bail Organa
- He was a very minor character in the original trilogy, but Lucas worked him in nicely, and Jimmy Smits did an excellent job with the part.
- 2. Darth Maul
- Ray Park is a god. To repeat what I said above, Darth Maul, while not as complex as Darth Vader or as ominous as Darth Sidious, is the most intimidating villian in the Star Wars franchise. He's not about plotting, he's not about conquest. He's about kicking your ass.
- 1. Obi-Wan Kenobi
- Ewan McGregor is as much Obi-Wan as Alec Guiness ever was. As such, he's the best new actor in the new trilogy.