GregHowley.com

Well, I'm back. I haven't yet had a chance to get a lot of my pictures together, but there are literally hundreds. We took a laptop, and Rachel took a memory card reader, so we filled up and unloaded the camera's memory card just about every day.

Still haven't seen the finales of The 4400 or Who Wants to Be a Superhero, and our TiVo went on the fritz while we were gone, so we don't have copies. I guess that's what torrents are for. I'm also about a third of the way through composing a narrative of our entire time in France. It's looking to be about 10 pages when it's done.

Now, without further ado, I bring you our feature presentation: Traffic signs in France

While we were in France, I ended up being the one who drove the rental car, since I was the only one who could drive stick, and renting an automatic cost almost double. The roads are narrow, and the driving is occasionally terrifying, but most puzzling of all were the traffic signs. So I bring to you now, in case you ever find yourself driving in Europe, definitions for some of France's most puzzling traffic signs. And yes, these are all signs I saw while I was there.

Traffic violations in this area are punishable by making you walk the plank off a rowboat.

Exploding vehicles ahead.

Topless beach ahead.

Oh shit!

Angry truck driver zone. Use extreme caution.

Speed limit enforced by Martian ray gun.

Medieval portcullis ahead. Honk twice to lower the drawbridge, lest ye drive into yon moat.

Run 100 metres into a brick wall. Medics should arrive shortly.

Driving 70 kph is prohibited.

Pay no attention to the burning bush. It lies.

Children must be led across the road at a sprint.

Speed limit enforced by the thunder god Thor.

I have no idea.

Honestly though, I still have no idea what many of those traffic signs mean. I'd generally drive past them and take most of them to mean "watch out".