Blacksash walked beside Ominous Buttcrack's horse, and they stopped on a craggy outcrop to survey the area.
"The good news is that Pothole seems to be following some kind of trail, or maybe a scent." said Ominous. The two looked back at the tiny, sword-dragging suit of armor. "For a 9 Strength, that's some pretty badass encumbrance."
Blusterfuss didn't actually need to jog to keep up with Pothole, but on any long trek it seemed that bouncing was the norm for her. So she jogged, at times in place.
"It's also good news that we have yet to see any evidence of these ogres. But look around." Ominous indicated the surrounding countryside. Deer and rabbits spotted the hills. Most of the small brush was gone, bare patches of grass were everywhere. "The druids are going nuts. Getting rid of the predators has wrought havoc with the area's ecosystem."
Blacksash nodded. They'd run into five other adventuring parties already, which was many more than they'd expected. The brave ones were beginning to head out on patrols, and they occasionally ran into a stray wolf or bear. The bears would kill entire parties, of course, but the fact that triumphant adventurers were returning with a wolf pelt twice a week only encouraged others. And the predators were only further thinned. "You're right", Blacksash said. "When we were leaving town, I heard some druids talking about going PvP. Things are getting real bad. Some people are headed to different campaigns."
"Well, that can't last.", said Ominous. "The DM will have to change things up if people start leaving."
"There you go again." Blacksash rolled his eyes.
They travelled for most of the day, and Blusterfuss spent some time throwing daggers at rabbits for practice, despite Ominous's assertions that the practice wouldn't matter unless those rabbits were giving her XP. This led to discussions of rabbitlike monsters, and the group spent the remainder of the afternoon in travel quoting Monty Python.
The sun was already setting when the party crested a hill, bellowing Brave Sir Robin at the top of their lungs, and found themselves facing an old keep built into the side of a cliff face. In front of the keep stood two ten foot tall monsters in full plate armor. This armor wasn't shiny and new - the numerous dents and scratches, mostly in the greaves, showed that it saw heavy use. One of them had an enormous sword strapped to its back, and the other wore two on his belt. Even as the party froze, suddenly silent, the ogres' heads snapped up.
"Double surprise." muttered Ominous, and the two parties stood there staring at each other for a few seconds. A moment later, the ogres both started running in the party's direction. As they passed a tree, a shadow detached itself from the tree and began fleeing the approaching ogres, cursing in a strange tongue. An elf. The ogre with two swords changed course to catch him.
"Run!" shouted Blacksash.
"Can't." grunted Ominous between gritted teeth. "Initiative hasn't come up yet."
Arrows now began to fly from the castle walls, and Blusterfuss was the first to spot who'd fired them. "It's the freakin' kobolds!", she shouted with glee. "There are kobolds in the castle!" With that, she drew her daggers and charged.
One of the arrows caught the strange elf as he ran, and he dropped, dead before he hit the ground. At the same time, Blusterfuss dodged past the closest ogre's greatsword, still running towards the keep walls. The ogre turned back towards her to pursue.
Blacksash took a step forward, unsure of exactly what to do, while Ominous began to fire magic missiles at a charging ogre. "If we live through this, we level." said Ominous, his face set. "But it'd sure be nice if you could give us a blessing, or call up some kind of spiritual hammer or something."
"Sorry.", shot back the very antsy-looking cleric. Beside him, Pothole hoisted his sword to his shoulder and readied himself for the attack.
As Blusterfuss neared the wall, she was suddenly unsure of what to do. There was no easy way in, and arrows were still raining down. The drapes she was wearing didn't provide much protection. Without her armor, she was even more likely to be hit. Looking back and forth between the ten foot rough stone wall and the charging ogre weilding a blade twice as tall as she was, the rogue made her decision.
She charged the ogre.
"What the hell is she doing?" asked Blacksash. Ominous didn't even notice. He was preoccupied with the ogre who was nearly on them.
"Wait!" he yelled. "That ogre shouldn't be able to get to us! It ran diagonally. It should only be able to make it up to that rock over there."
Blacksash winced and looked at the approaching ogre. "No, he can make it. Diagonal movement doesn't count extra in 4th edition."
"That's bull." muttered Ominous, still hunting for some rule that could save them. Blusterfuss had now reached the ogre, and threw her daggers aside, leaping for the thing's leg. The tiny halfling held on, trying to climb up the ogre.
"No!", shouted Ominous, "Don't grapple it! It gets a bonus! Only dwarves get bonuses for fighting giant types, and even then you need a weapon!"
"Is Pothole a dwarf?" asked Blacksash, just as the ogre reached them. Pothole, who'd been waiting, swung his sword overhead as if he were swinging a mallet at a carnival and trying to ring the bell at the top of the post. The sword hit one of the ogre's unarmored feet, glancing off its thick yellow toenail.
"I guess not." said Ominous.
The ogre held both swords out to his sides, then swept them inward, neatly decapitating Seecolun Blacksash. Then he turned to Pothole, who was grunting with effort as he tried once more to shoulder his oversized weapon.
"Wait!" screamed Ominous, "He's supposed to have a penalty for attacking with two weapons, right? Did we count that?"