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Last Friday, I got a box in the mail. It turned out to be a kind of care package - a birthday gift from my brothers. The whole thing was just so damn entertaining that I just had to share.

The card they chose featured what I believe is Ultimate Batman. I'm not into comics, so I'm not 100% on that. Accompanying it was a couple pieces of the bizarre yet wonderful art my brother sometimes draws. I've got a tee shirt featuring his art which has a sketch of a couple guys at a bus stop standing under a sign that says "No Talk".

For the rest of what was in there, I can only imagine that they hit some kind of pharmacy or dollar store. They probably didn't spend a ton, but who the heck cares - they made up for that in sheer entertainment value. First off, a couple mini-boxes of Whitman's Sampler chocolates. They are appreciated, and will be eaten soon. The accompanying note informed me that the chocolates were made by Walt Whitman himself. Excellent.

My brother Glenn works at Wal-Pole, and he included some cedar planks for grilling fish. These will be used. It's odd though that Wal-Pole advertising is branded onto the side of the planks. I told Glenn that I hope the white out I used on that advertising doesn't add its flavor to the fish I cook.

They also threw some peach rings into the box. I love these peach rings, though not as much as fudge sticks, and I haven't had them in years. I think I ate most of the bag this afternoon. They also threw in some cherry passion flavored tic-tacs. According to the note, this new flavor is "the bomb", but when I ate one it made my mouth hurt. Have you ever eaten too much candy to the point where your mouth feels chapped and your taste buds hurt? It only took one of these things. I ended up giving them away. I am just not man enough for the tic tacs.

Next, some Extreme Energy Six Hour Shots. You know those 5-hour energy shots you always see in gas stations? These are six hour shots. No no! Six minute abs! (if anyone gets that joke, please let me know) These extreme shots feature such ingredients as Blazing Focus, Extreme Energy Tech, and Herbal Scorch. Yeah - they snuck marketingSpeak into the nutritional information.

There was lots of candy in that box. The mini Toblerones, which I finished today, were awesome. I haven't yet opened the Halls sweet herbal mints. They also got Nips, which I'm convinced they only bought for the name. Hey - it gave my own juvenile mind a chuckle.

There are a couple items from the box which really just confused me. Q-Tips? The note said I could have immaculate lobes, but... really? Q-Tips? Well, I guess everyone uses Q-Tips at some point, so into the drawer they go. They will be used. But the novelty erasers shaped like crayons may not see so much use. I really don't make it a habit of using pencils. Maybe Linda can use them. And the Axe body spray? Great gag gift, but now I'm not sure what to do with it. Apparently, Linda is supposed to flock to my manly scent. But I'm not sure she knows how to flock.

My cats are getting a huge kick out of the laser cat toy my brothers sent, and actually, so is Lia. I've been trying to show her that it's actually me making that red dot, but I'm thinking now that maybe I shouldn't, since she'll just want to hold it, and I won't let her, on the off chance that she somehow manages to shine that laser in her eye.

They also sent me this radical boxing skull pen. It's a pen with a skull at the top and two arms. When you press one of the levers on the back, the arm shoots out and throws a punch. Hoo-ah! Wuh-cha! It rocks.

I wasn't sure at first why they'd sent a matchbox forklift, but then I read the note. It said that I should use it if all the forks in the hour were dirty. So I did.

Lastly, they sent a spinz pen. It's a pen-spinning revolution! Spin pens like the pros! Wha? The... pen... spinning... pros? You mean... the professional pen-spinners? Ohh...kay. My brothers suggest that I train hard for the 2016 olympic games. Apparently they're adding a pen spinning event. I only got the level 1 (beginner) pen, but I hope to eventually work my way up to level 3 pen spinning - I've got the instructions on the wall here at work, and I practice hard at lunchtime.

This package sets the bar high for what I'll have to get them this Christmas, but I feel up to the challenge.