Yes, I know it's not HoNoToGroABeMo, but after some heavy coaxing from Linda, I decided to go the better part of a week without shaving. The results were disastrous.
The second shot shows the seven or eight hair follicles I've got in the sideburn region. An attempt at a serious sideburn would result in a patchy misshapen thing, not unlike roadkill, living on the side of my head. Bad news.
I think the failure of this experiment is enough to never let this farce of a beard appear again.